Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Vicious Library Cycle

The Library and I are stuck in a problematic cycle of sorts.

I LOVE going to the library. I fill my arms with tons and tons of books and I am always in awe that I just get to take them home with me. They don't need money in exchange for those literary gems, they don't need blood, or any other sort of collateral I could think of. All they have to do is swipe my card and I get to walk through those doors with all the books I can carry.


SO what is the problem? Oh I will tell you my friend!  Every few weeks I go to the library, check out way more books than I can read during the two or three weeks I am allowed to have them and I spend those weeks immersed in literary bliss. Eventually the inevitable happens. I misplace something I have checked out from the library. It doesn't make sense that this would happen, I live in a two bedroom apartment, but it does. Now the library seems docile and giving when you are checking out books but Oh how it rears its ugly head when you fail to return something!

On more than one occasion the library has threatened to refer me to a collections agency if I did not return or pay for a book or other material I had taken out. The thing about it is that while a book may cost $25 in the real world, in library land they can somehow stretch it to make it cost $50. And HEAVEN FORBID you lose a CD or DVD.  Once I lost one CD of an audio book. I took in the other 8 CDs I still had though and thankfully they only charged me for the one I lost. Otherwise I would have owed that seemingly sweet librarian behind the counter $90!!! (I am not in anyway criticizing the library system. I understand that you are borrowing the books and should be held responsible. I understand there are other costs they have to account for.).

After I finally find the lost book, or succumb to the fines or replacement costs, I become a little weary of the library. I mean if I go back will it be the same? I see the scenario in my head. I get up to the counter cheerful, with my arms filled with books. The sweet lady behind the counter smiles at me as she takes my card.  As she scans my card her expression  changes.  My account has been flagged, I am a book-loser! I cannot be trusted! Her upper lip curls back and I see a pair of buffy-the vampire-slayerish fangs shimmering at me as I back away, dropping my books and run for the door.

Obviously this never happens. At the library all sins are forgiven after you pay the fines or return the book. It astounds me every time and I fall even more into a book-induced stupor.  And yes I am trying desperately to not lose books. Hopefully, this month I will break the cycle and the library and I can once and for all end this love/hate relationship . I think we could have a great future in front of us, filled with suspenseful chapters, riveting story lines, and happy endings.